March of Dimes Walk

Please consider clicking the link on the right and making a donation to the March of Dimes walk we are participating in - the boys, Daddy & I :) we can't wait! It's in Baltimore on May 14.

We are walking in the memory of my best friend's stillborn son

Garrett Michael
April 21, 2010
{born sleeping}

You can make a donation in any amount ($1 on up!)

I appreciate it!

You can also click HERE to make a donation!

powerless

How simple would it be to be able to fully embrace this idea:

"I am powerless"

It's almost a contradictory idea because in reality, we all want to feel powerful.

But let's be real... the only thing we maintain power over are our own thoughts and actions.

I am trying to put that three worded sentence on constant repeat in my brain. But at times, I don't want to feel that way.

I am completely powerless over people's thoughts and actions.

vulnerable

so I really want to blog about something but I don't want to:

{feel vulnerable}

{be judged... because it will happen}

{wonder what other's are thinking about xyz}

{feel like my family will deal with the backlash... because, well, they are involved}

but I also want to fully heal...

for me, writing is pretty therapeutic

this is a tough decision folks...

I wish someone else could make this decision for me... {sigh}

updates

--- Big Man is still having stomach problems - we are waiting on one more piece of bloodwork (ova & parasite exam) but so far, everything has come back either within normal limits or negative. I am waiting to hear back from the GI to see if we're moving forward with the scopes... if so it will probably fall on my birthday (next Thursday)

--- Little Man is almost walking! He is taking lots and lots of unassisted, wobbly steps. He also has lots of words (10+)... although, his physical development has taken the driver seat right now! He says: up, down, mama, daddy, dog, duck, quack, moo, cow, out and much more! It's so strange to have a child with words at this age. Big Man didn't find his words until 22ish months!

--- Some big changes are possibly coming to our home... if and when they happen, I will {eventually} blog about it

--- 1 year ago yesterday started one of the worst weeks of my life... Little Man turned blue on us for the first time. A year ago today we were having the first of many swallow studies and GI appointments plus seeing a cardiologist. Saturday marks a year from when he was hospitalized. I can't believe it's already been one year. He has been through so much and is such a strong, sweet little boy.

feeding the ducks

Oh Poop

Oh poop was today a long, long day.

Let me preface this post with a little history... Big Man has always been a regular-once-a-day pooper... his body regulated itself down.to.the.time... typically mid-late morning. And then December 26 came and blew things up... literally.

December 26 started a 6 day streak of lime green watery poop. I called the pedi (by day 5) and was advised that it was probably a virus and if it didn't clear up to bring Big Man in. By day 7, things were looking better in terms of color and consistency and that lasted for ohhhh about another day. By day 9, his poop was no longer lime green but e.v.e.r.y.s.i.n.g.l.e.f.r.a.z.z.l.i.n.g.d.i.a.p.e.r was diarrhea. Seriously, thank goodness for Amazon's subscribe & save diaper plan because we are going through diapers like water.

{Side note: Little Man's new medications have made him go from constipated to pooping 3-4 times a day... so he is certainly not helping the Poop-Diaper Crisis 2011 - anyone know of safe/legal child labor for 1 & 2 year old's?? Anyone...??? I kid, I kid... seriously 100% just joking - you know, just-in-case someone gets a wild idea to try and call CPS on us or something}

So about 2ish weeks ago, we took Big Man into a different pedi and he thought Lactose Intolerance. We followed his advice and removed the "culprit" and 4 days later, still no improvement. I called our regular pedi last Monday. He said if it was L.I. we would have/should have seen an improvement. He ordered bloodwork and stool samples. We took Brice to the lab last Thursday and Friday afternoon, a nurse called and said everything was NORMAL! What? Seriously? My jaw hit the floor and after I scooped it back up I asked her to have a doctor call me. The doc agreed that diarrhea for that long was abnormal and we needed to see a GI. She called our fav GI in BR and triaged us in.... fast forward to today...

We saw good ole' Dr. A. It's a good thing he has several kids because between Big Man and Little Man one of them is going to be getting a car once they're old enough to drive. I mean what is it with my kids and wanting to pad the pockets of everyone else but their parents?! Haha... I get so tangential at times (maybe it's because I am tired of poop, poop and more poop that I just don't want to talk about poop let alone write the word one more time but then you wouldn't know the rest of the story and you may feel left out or sad or neither of those --- whew what a run-on!)... back to the poop.

Dr. A basically said that intermittent diarrhea and some constipation (because that's B's pattern) isn't normal for 6 weeks (duh!)... he ordered more bloodwork and more stool samples (oh joy for me because it didn't consist of just dropping off a poop filled diaper for a lab person to deal with... oh no, I got to scoop poop into a container with a solution of formaldehyde and something else and since I didn't have enough poop for the other container, I get to do it all over again the next time he poops... jealous yet?) We didn't go into a great discussion on what could be the cause (he did mention the possibility of celiacs) but we will know the results of some of the bloodwork ([1] CBC/Diff/Platelets, [2]C Reactive Protein and [3] sedimentation rate-ESR) and the rest (Prometheus Celiac Panel) next Thursday; and for the poop testing ([1] C Difficile PCR, [2] OVA & Parasite Exam and [3] Stool-PH & Reducing Sub), I'm honestly not sure when we will get those results back but I would imagine by next Thursday as well.

If all of the above comes back normal and Big Man is still having diarrhea, Dr. A will do an endoscopy and colonoscopy in an attempt to get some answers.

Big Man still has GERD (silly us for thinking it had ever disappeared) - we started Prevacid 15mg Solutabs 3 weeks ago. They are working because he is not as pukey nor is he gagging himself near as much... and because of that we get to avoid a swallow study.

We followup in 1 month... although Dr. A said he anticipates seeing us in a few weeks for the scopes... oh well.

Little Man's Birthday Party

Sorry I have not posted sooner (or finished Little Man's birth-day post, but I promise, I will soon)... here are some images from my
sweet babe's 1st birthday!

I can't believe that my baby is ONE!
I also can't believe that it took me 1.5 months to post these pictures...
ha! just kidding... I can TOTALLY believe that!

Hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I enjoy reliving that day!